I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
