I've blown a few things in my day
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
