Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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