My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
