these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
