I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
