Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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