I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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