he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Your penis caused this!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
