I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
