I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
