Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
