there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Enjoy the penises
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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