Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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