I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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