well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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