Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
