My hand turned me down
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
