sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
