Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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