i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
