i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
