I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
