dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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