Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
