Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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