Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
