I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
