There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
