I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was confusing and full of hummus
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
