If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
