Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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