I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just gargled with NyQuil
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
