i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
