I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
