Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
two words: eviction party
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
