I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
