She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
