Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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