Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
