we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
