Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
