It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
