I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
