I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
