so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He shit in the fireplace
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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