your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
