Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
