Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
