I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
